Diary of an immigrant from Ardennes (delicious !!!)
12 August: Today we moved into our new house, in the sunny Ardennes. This place is truly beautiful. The valleys are so majestic. I can't wait to see them covered in snow. I love this place.
October 14: The Ardennes is the most beautiful place on the planet. The leaves go through all the shades of red and orange. I went for a walk in these beautiful woods and saw deer. They are so gracious. They are arguably the most wonderful animals on earth. I feel like I'm in Heaven. I love this place.
11 November: Soon the opening of the deer hunt. I find it hard to imagine that such adorable creatures could be killed. I hope it will snow soon. I love this place.
December 2: It snowed last night. When I woke up, I saw that everything was covered in white. Looks like a postcard. We went out to clear. Snow on the steps and we cleared the path with a shovel. We had a snowball fight (I won), but when the snow plow passed, we had to pick up the shovels again. What a wonderful place. I love the Ardennes.
December 12: More snow last night. I love. The snowplow has played a farce on us by cluttering up the path. I love this place.
December 19: More snow last night. I couldn't go to work. The path was blocked by snow. I am exhausted from shoveling. Snow plow motherfucker.
December 22: That white shit fell all night again. My hands have blisters from the shovel. I'm sure the plow is stashed around the bend and waiting for me to clear the path. The asshole!
December 25: Merry shit Christmas! That crap of snow again. If only I could get my hands on you son of a bitch driving the snow plow. My word. I hide him, that asshole. I wonder why they didn't add salt to the road to melt that fucking ice cream.
December 27: That white shit again, last night. I stayed locked up for 3 days, except to clear the way each time the snow plow went. I can't go anywhere. The car is buried under a pile of snow. Weather guy says we can expect another 25 inches of shit tonight. You have an idea of how many shovelfuls that represents,
25 cm.
December 28: My two meteorologist got into it. This time, he fell over 80 cm. At this rate, it will not melt before the summer. The snowplow got stuck in the road, and the other ball came to the door to borrow a shovel. After telling him that I had already screwed up six shovels by clearing the snow he was throwing in my driveway, I broke the last one I had left on his ugly face.
4 January: I was still able to go out today. I went to the store to buy some food, and on the way back, a prick came up in front of the car.
He caused 3000 EUR in damage. We should slaughter those fucking bugs. I thought the hunters killed them all in November.
3 may: I drove the car to the garage in town. You will believe me if you will: the crate is all rusty from that crap salt they put all over the road.
10 may: The movers are there. We return to Chastre. I can't imagine anyone in their right mind would want to live in this lost region.
May 5
Hey, the Ardennes aren't that bad, eh !!
